Dream: Worn tires on my truck

The details of this dream are rather vague but I wanted to capture what snippets I could.

Tires on my truck are wearing unevenly on the front to the point that they are unsafe to drive on. 

I'm in serious need of an alignment. (I mean, my truck is.)

I remember arguing with someone about how it got so bad. The outer edges are practically smooth. The mesh layer is starting to poke through.

I'll try to add more bits as they come to me, if they come to me.

Dream: Glowing creatures in the house

I'm up in a bedroom upstairs in a house that sort of resembles my current place and my aunt & uncle's place in Petaluma. There are two single beds and I'm in the one closest to the door, which is open. It leads to an extended landing with a view to downstairs with a railing you can see through. I can see a bluish/greenish light is glowing from the kitchen, emanating into the dark house.

I'm frozen scared in this bed.. I feel very vulnerable here. Plus, it's really cold in this house. The blankets just aren't enough to really keep warm. I shiver a lot. It's almost as if the covers are too thin and a little short, like a kid's bed. There is someone in other single bed but I can't wake them to talk about what I see downstairs. I try to shake this person but they just groan a little and turn over and go back to sleep. I know if I was able to tell this person about what's downstairs, they would not be able to sleep either.

I tentatively get up to take a peek. I'm looking toward the source of the light. (It's almost same angle that I have at my current place when I look out from the bedroom, toward the kitchen.) The glow is constant; it doesn't seem like anything is moving in the kitchen but I sense something.


Then I see them come out, one by one. They're pretty big.. each one is about as wide as the door but only about half as tall. They walk on four legs. I am paralyzed with fear. They are glowing from within, almost cartoon-like. I can see them clearly in the darkness. The one I see most clearly has bulging eyes and an elongated face with flared nostrils. I don't know if it can see me but I can't take my eyes off the scene. I don't recall that they looked scary but they're certainly deliberate and ominous. They walk slowly out of the kitchen and round the corner, going farther into the house where I can't see them from my vantage. I retreat back into the bedroom.

Tangie is with me under the covers.. I grab a piece of wood for protection (it's one of the pieces from my shelves; about 4 feet long)  I'm worried about swatting too much at the creatures for fear of injuring Tangie but I practice a few times. Plus, I don't think I would be able to do much, if any, damage to these huge creatures even I I hit them edge-wise but it's all I've got to work with.

The house is eerily silent. I keep waiting for it to get lighter outside but it never seems to. I never get up to look out the window in the bedroom but I know it's still seems just as dark. I'm straining to a sign, a shuffling of paper, creaking floor, anything to signal they whereabouts.


I know those "things" are still down there and possible coming upstairs but there are no noises from the creatures. I don't know why I just don't venture downstairs to face my fear. Instead I'm cowered in this room waiting for the thing I fear to come to me. I really don't even have much of a defense.

I keep worrying about Tangie, afraid he's going to venture outside the bedroom and possibly get harmed.. 


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I wake up and my own place is bathed in the same kind of light. Tangie is also next to me under the covers. It fills me with an eerie sense inside.. I'm cold and hot at the same time. I feel sweaty under the blankets but I'm also shivering. It's freezing in this place.. the feeling is almost overwhelming. I have an emotional moment. The tears come and I feel sadness. I decide I'd better jot this dream down before what details I do remember begin to fade.

Dream: Rendezvous at the book store; driving; phone call

I had another dream two nights ago.. I fell asleep on the couch and didn't wake up until like 6am.

[It's daytime.. sunny out]

on my mountain bike: (I can't remember where this fit in the sequence/chronology of the dream) I'm going somewhere but I'm not sure how to get "there". I ride down the street that gradually slopes down to a dead-end to where I think I should go.. off to the left I see a trailhead of sorts.. it's like a portal.. made from plywood.. can't see what's beyond it from the street.. seems like a mtn bike trail or an obstacle course.. just as I'm starting to investigate the entrance I see two people ride past on the road. I back my bike up and go where they just went.. it's a trail next to train tracks.. more industrial area.. the disappear up ahead.

[it's late afternoon for this part of the dream]

book store: I remember walking through the book stacks with her. There are stairs leading up and down amongst different levels/rooms like Powell's but smaller. There's a tiny cafe where we met and where we return after browsing for awhile. She heading into the cafe and I tell her I'll be back.. I have something pressing to do but can't recall what it was. I leave in my truck.

[it's darker now, like at dusk]

pulling up to my place: there's a newly planted tree outside.. wooden stairs to front door. not a familiar house on the outside but has the same layout as my current place on the inside. I start getting ready for bed.. then realize she wasn't coming here.. she was waiting for me at the bookstore. I was supposed to go back.. running around hastily, finding my jeans and putting on my shoes without untying the laces.. getting back in the truck and rushing back..

[it's dark now, nighttime]

on the freeway, like Hwy 26 Eastbound at the Zoo exit. don't read the signs..take the wrong exit.. it's a dead end.. I realize but continue to the end.. like a factory or machine shop. industrial.. there's a silo, like for loading concrete.. I do a u-turn.. heading back the other way, there are workers on foot.. they are in uniforms like they work at hotel.. not a factory.. some are in pairs talking, others are on bikes .. some others are walking alone.

making the phone call I want to tell her I'm on my way back so she doesn't leave the bookstore/cafe. I can't seem to dial the number.. I finally to pull up her number in the address book on my cell phone and press the button.. it rings and rings. then a guy answers and says "we're in the middle of something". Hangs up.

[I'm awake now]

I wake up and am disoriented. I remember falling asleep on the couch.. it's still dark out as we just switched to Daylight Savings time.. I try to go back to sleep to see what happens next but I can't.. my stomach is in knots.. Tangie starts meowing when he sees me stirring. I get up.

The End.

Dream: the dark room

I'm feeling a little melancholic tonight. I had another dream a couple nights ago that I can't seem to shake. The essence is that I was trapped; nothing I did could break me out.

I sensed the will to even try was waning, like I was settling into an acceptance of being stuck. It's like there were two people but both of them me. The dreamer observing myself in this situation and not being able to help. And the one in the dream that couldn't escape.

Keith and my mom were also key players in the dream. Keith was coming down hard on me for some reason and had ordered me to stay in this room. It didn't look like any bedroom I'd had growing up but it felt like mine in the dream. There was nothing in there that was personal though.. it was just a bed, a couple of nightstands, a door and windows.. the curtains were pulled. they were thick and didn't let any light through. it was impossible to know what time it was or how long I'd been in there. I just had this heavy feeling.

I remember this encounter with Keith in the room. He had come to chew me out about something. I sensed extreme disappointment.. like that time in hardware store where he said I'd burned my bridges as far as he was concerned. I can't imagine what I'd done but he wasn't gonna let it happen again. I felt like I was an adult but being suspended like parents would do as a kind as punishment for a teenager. No TV, no guitar, nothing.. just think about what you did.

At one point I did get out. I think I managed to crawl out the window. I found myself in a place that looked the street I lived on in Ocean Beach on Long Branch, though the house I stopped at was not any place I remember, at least structurally. It had an enclosed porch with benches or chairs. This locale was so bright and sunny. It was familiar but I had an impending feeling, anxiety. Like I was gonna get caught.. not being in my dark room.

The next thing I knew I was back in the dark room. Keith was furious at me again. My mom seemed impotent to do anything. She just stood there (almost complicitly) while Keith berated me for my latest infraction..

I woke up from the dream a couple times and looked around.. I recognized I was here in Portland.. but when I went back to sleep I found myself back in that room. It grew more and more hopeless.

It's been a few days and I can still picture the room and the sunny house..

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I certain conjures a sense of being alone… an only child.. no dad or step dad.. being adopted.. not knowing what's going to happen... I'm usually okay but certain things seem to trigger the feeling like the rug is going to pulled out from under me again! It's hard sometimes to find the strength, I think I just suppress it.. I try to be calm and collected (even if sometimes it's only on the outside) but when I get those sinking feelings. doubt.. I want to be a ballast for others but who will be mine? I sometimes wish I didn't feel anything at all.. maybe it would be easier to get by that way.. but feel nothing? It's not who I am. I don't know.. I guess you can't have the good without the bad.. sometimes it feels like a curse, other times a blessing - I seem to feel the same (or at least similar) degree of sadness as happiness. I've had some of the happiest moments in the last few months, but also some of the most heartbreaking moments..

Dream: Stuck in the "green zone"

my first recollection is that I was in some place foreign. I was with a group of civilians that I'd traveled there with. I titled this post "green zone" but I could be anywhere, not necessarily Baghdad. Just kind of an oasis...

I remember being at this restaurant or coffee shop.. talking with my friends.. nervously discussing our options to "get out of there safely". this place was on a busy street and was up high.. the sidewalk was about 6 feet above the road.. some kind of promenade. It was a fancy place.. expensive looking furniture and tapestries.

I left the safety of the others and the coffee shop/restaurant and headed solo down the road. I had my belongings in a backpack (the hiker kind, not a school backpack). I remember crossing an offramp and noticing the signage. I don't recall if there was writing or not. I felt very vulnerable but continued. There was nothing obviously menacing about the places I passed but it felt very dark.. there weren't many street lights... I wasn't in the middle of nowhere.. just everything was closed (presumably for the night).

I found myself in a large house all by myself. Across the 4-lane road was another large structure. It almost seemed like it had columns in front and place for cars to pull in to unload passengers.

The house I was in had lots of windows and Levelors (horizontal blinds). I explored the inside and had to turn off lights and close the blinds.. it seemed that I felt safe if the blinds were closed. I was just trying keep a low profile.. not do anything to spark someone's interest or that the house was occupied. I was definitely feeling like a foreigner in an unfamiliar place. I took care of the upstairs and closed all the doors to the rooms. I would periodically peer out the windows looking for anyone who had stopped to take a look. I was worried that the closed blinds would actually be a clue that someone was inside.. so I went back upstairs to reopen them a bit.. make it look more natural.

Downstairs, there was a huge picture window facing the road and the palace across the street. periodically, a car would pass and the headlights would illuminate the room. I'd duck for safety.

that's all I can remember.

Dream: warehouse, unfriendlies, 100th window

I had a dream last night that I can still visualize..

I was stuck at some locale that I could not leave so I had to make do with my surroundings. It seemed like a place I've seen before (more or less).. (maybe somewhere along Johnson Creek Road/Springwater corridor.. it's near houses but kind of industrial; just a vague approximation). I felt I had to find shelter as the sun was going down and I knew there were present threats. I wasn't concerned about food, water. just protection from perceived "unfriendlies". one specific danger that I vividly remember was a bear.

After exploring this road/path, I ended up checking out this rundown warehouse. It had lots of windows and big sliding garage type doors. the warehouse was basically empty with a few leftover items that I can't quite picture in my mind anymore.

later I realized I was working with a few other people, trying to survey the structure and identify places that could be breached so that we could try to find materials lying around to secure these openings. As we continued to work on the building more people were showing up. I was trying to delegate duties to them to kept them occupied as well as make use of their skills - working toward our common goal of safety.

I remember there were some windows and sliding doors that only had one of two working locks/latches.. the other side was either bent or broken. I couldn't worry about those details and just continued troubleshooting the larger problems. There was another part of the structure that had a very narrow opening (about 10 feet wide but only 2 ft tall) and it could not be fully closed. the core "team" decided we had to have a couple people there to ward off any "foes" that tried to enter the building from there.

Earlier in the day I'd seen the long sticks, almost like jousting poles.. I figured we could at least buy some time with these "weapons" if the bear tried to enter from this spot. I remember going to retrieve one of the poles and passing it through the narrow opening to another person inside. We also had to clear some debris and other warehouse junk inside this "bunker" so no one would trip trying to defend us.

Elsewhere in the warehouse were these large rooms with high ceilings. They had windows way up there but without a ladder, it was hard to check them; I figured they were too high for the bear. There were some large pieces of equipment in the first room but nothing that was useful for our purposes. There was another adjacent room that could be closed off with a large door.. most of the people that had arrived were in there.. I can't recall what they were doing. Talking I think.

in the end, I don't recall ever having to confront the unfriendlies..

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The warehouse kind of reminded me of the warehouse in that Discovery Channel show "The Colony". It also reminds me of the idea of the "100th window", a concept in security where

"There's always a way in, there's always one thing you'll leave and locks are undone, and something you've forgotten. It's a great analogy to the human psyche and the soul, and the way we're voyeuristic, we like to look at and see everything we can get our hands on, have that power and be able to look at other people and look into thoughts while closing ourselves off and keeping ourselves as private as possible."[2] (Robert Del Naja)